For the Moms (and probably for you too)
- Jess Welsh
- May 9, 2020
- 6 min read
Dan and I have this running joke about Mother's Day. On Mother's Day your mom gets flowers, admiration, some overpriced brunch, and a pat on the proverbial back that says "You're amazing, a superhero, God's gift to our family." Then a month later we hand dads some barbecue sauce and grilling tools to make us all food with a "Thanks for everything, but God has given you a big job and honestly you could just really just do a little better."
This Mothers Day I have contemplated what it is that makes motherhood extraordinary. Is it that my body can do things intuitively that I could never will it to do? Is it the instinct built into our very bones to protect the weak, to nurture? Is it how we sustain life through milk that our body produces on demand with exactly what a tiny human person needs? Is it the never ending demands? I think the truth is this: motherhood is extraordinary, but not because of me.
Once upon a time, in a garden oceans and valleys away, God made a man. This man was charged with maybe the most daunting task ever given to humankind: to work in the garden, to subdue the chaos of it, and to be fruitful in it. This world that was untamed and untouched was placed under the care of this man, Adam. But Adam alone was not equal to the task. God knew he needed something else, someone else for this extraordinary work. I often have wondered why God didn’t just create Adam with the ability to do this work alone, to be fruitful on his own. But I believe that the answer is really not that complicated. The glory of God is magnified in this way. Through man and woman. This is the way that God saw fit to accomplish his purpose, so it is not merely the best way (although it certainly is the best way). It is the grandest way. It is the merciful way. It is the most creative way. It is the most glorious way. It is the most honoring way. It is the most loving way. In His perfect plan God made womankind, and these women would be the mothers of all humankind. The rest of the story unfolds as you know well. Eve saw the fruit that looked pleasing to the eye, and fell to the Satan's lies. Even there in the very beginning we see the influence of a woman. Her husband nearby laid down his protection for her and Eve offered him fruit that led to their destruction.
This moment could have been the tell tale sign that women weren’t equal to this task of filling the earth. Surely the woman is weak. She cannot bear the weight of what God would give to her. The responsibility is too great. The burden is strong. The pain will be too much. Humanity will crumble. God punished the woman, and this punishment for sin we feel even centuries removed from her initial fall from grace. This is where we began, guys. It was always an uphill battle. Conception is difficult. It is an “against all odds” sort of science. But even after that...childbirth is hard. Just the physical act alone, and we know that mothering is certainly more than that. Women have given their lives for the children in their wombs. Feeding, raising, teaching, training children is even harder than the physical demands. But, this is the way that God chose to redeem humanity.
Through this messy, hard, difficult, gut wrenching, pain inducing process God brought forth the Christ. We are weak, but Christ is strong. We cannot bear the weight of it, but Jesus can. The responsibility is too great, but we will not bear it alone. The burden is strong, but the Spirit carries it with us. The pain is too much, but God will sustain us. God redeems what is broken in our motherhood, and he does it through Jesus. We are no longer unequal to this task because Christ himself bolsters us in it. Our weaknesses are there, but his power is made perfect in them. We fail but God triumphs in and through it. This is what makes motherhood extraordinary. When God could have called the whole thing and bypassed us all, he dug down deep and said “I have a place for you in this story.” The common grace of God gives strength to women the world over, and this is itself: a miracle. However, miracles do not point to the object of the miracle, but rather the performer of it.
The chief object of my motherhood really isn’t my kids. I want to love them well, to train them to be honorable and good neighbors, to taste and see that the Lord is good. But, when done unto them alone I am unfulfilled. They are greedy for attention. They are thankless for my efforts. They are cold to their siblings, and agnostic to my lessons. They are children, fellow creatures with purposes that extend upward. Only God can grant them the faith they need, the faith I pray for them. Fulfilled motherhood looks to Christ to satisfy. It doesn’t seek results from fellow created beings so as to shout my glory from the rooftops. Fulfilled motherhood is open handed motherhood that offers her efforts, and her children to the Lord, and leaves the results to him.
This kind of motherhood is free. It looks like mothers that give their gifts to the Lord and do not worry when that gift is not the same as their neighbors'. It cares little for what the mother next door is doing and celebrates instead the wildly creative God that has given an endless variety of gifts and talents that vary mom to mom. It says, "My motherhood sings with joy, and yours reads in quiet: we can both be faithful.” Free motherhood says, “I stay home to feed my family, and you work to feed yours: we can both be faithful.” It says, “My house is lively and loud, and yours is quiet and still: we can both be faithful.” Free motherhood says, “My quiver is full and yours is full of students, children at church, and youth from the community: we can both be faithful.” Faithful motherhood says to the Lord “all these gifts you have given to me, use them for your purpose.“
But, I would remiss to leave out the fact that aside from the redemptive power of Jesus and the creative power of God, there is something else that makes motherhood extraordinary: the people that we mother. Yes, they are fellow humans born in sin. Yes, they are greedy, selfish, and they are not the entire focus or aim of our efforts. But, they are apart of the process with us. They are eternal souls that bear the stamp of the God who made them. God could have chosen for us to nurture and mother less responsive creations. But in his grace and mercy he gave us people! We mother children that vary as much as the mothers themselves that nurture them. Children populate the planet with laughter and fun, big hearts and feelings, neck hugs, and mispronounced words. They stumble over carpet ridges and their very existence tells the world that creation power is not found in the mother, but in God. This is true for the mom with 6 biological kids in her home and the stretch marks to prove it. It’s true for the adoptive mom whose DNA doesn’t quite match her child’s. But it’s also true for the young woman who nurtures girls from the high school. It’s true for the mom whose hands are empty, even if her body still bears witness to the life that was once safe inside her. This truth is for the older Sunday school teacher who ministers to the single women. It’s for the empty nester who sits with the women in crisis and navigates heavy waters with them hand in hand. Without the people we mother our motherhood would be bland, tasteless, stagnant. But with them it is as full of life as their beating hearts.
My motherhood is extraordinary, but only because God made it that way.
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